


terribly

by rojohbi



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 23:18:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11114994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rojohbi/pseuds/rojohbi
Summary: She leaned in conspiratorially, swinging an arm around his shoulders. “I’m not here to support, Percival. I’m here to tip the scales.”





	terribly

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday to [taakitz](http://taakitz.tumblr.com)!!!! this was supposed to be a little oneshot and then i looked up and it was...7 pages...... oh well
> 
> ive never written them together, and this is unbetad, so just let me know if anything seems strange

The world fanned out around him in countless moving shapes, but Percival found that he had no control at all over where his focus landed. He’d tried to shift it quite a few times, but no matter his effort Percy’s eyes were drawn back to one spot in the tavern.

Vax’ildan, one table away, with his hair pulled up into a ponytail that draped down his back like ink. Vax’s profile, lit more by a drunken laugh than the dim room and framed by loose strands of dark hair with carefully placed but colorful beads and charms. They had been out in the rain for the better part of the day, and Vax had undone his braid with a grumble about it drying too slowly. With a few tugs of his hair and a flourish, Vax’ildan straightened with his lifted tresses dripping down his back and shoulders, sticking to his skin in loose strands. They’d gotten drunk to warm up and celebrate their victory, and Percy hadn’t been able to see much but the curve of a stony jaw into a long throat blushed pink with alcohol. 

Even just the relaxed shift of his shoulders, finally free of whatever mystery tension that Vax always seemed to hold, was pulling Percy’s eyes back to the half-elf’s form. He wondered if he’d just-

“If you keep drooling over my brother, I’ll just tell him myself.”

Percy jumped so hard he swore he felt himself leave the seat, whipping around to see Vex’ahlia splayed over the seat beside him. She wore a smug grin but bore another ale for Percy, and so was forgiven for her harassment. “Though, that’s only if one of the other members of our ragtag little family doesn’t say it first. You know how family is, dear.”

Choking just a bit around the mouthful of ale he’d just swallowed, Percy cleared his throat and glanced around meekly. “How, uh - How many of them do you think have realized?”

“Grog needs to be hit with something to realize it, and Keyleth hasn’t realized her own feet.” Percy nodded along a bit, feeling a touch better. When she stopped going on, though, he grimaced. Vex’ahlia just smiled.

“You’re a horrible support system, you know that?”

Her smile turned into a grin, and Vex scooted her chair closer to him and pat his knee. She leaned in conspiratorially, swinging an arm around around his shoulders. “I’m not here to support, Percival. I’m here to tip the scales,” she said, cryptically and very close to his ear. Percy felt her twirl a short lock of his hair around her finger, but when he looked at her he noticed that Vex was looking off into the distance.

At Vax’ildan, it turned out. Who was already watching them, knuckles white where they gripped the handle of his tankard and lips in a thin line. He seemed to suddenly realize that Percy was also looking, caught him in a slightly wide-eyed stare, and whipped around just as quickly as Percy had done a moment before. Percival turned to ask Vex’ahlia what she’d meant, but she was gone. And Vax’ildan was gone, as well, when he looked back again.

These damn twins would be the death of him.

He spent the rest of the night with Pike and Keyleth, as Grog and Scanlan had went off looking for something scandalous or hilarious to do. The three remaining had wished them good luck and ended up huddled around the fireplace in the tavern with a bottle of some odd, spiced rum that sparked like magic against your tongue.

They did not mention the dark-haired twins, and he thanked them silently for not trying to pry all the confusing things out of his chest quite yet. He smiled, instead, as a flushed Keyleth brought forth flowers from her fingertips and set them behind all their ears with a pleased giggle. He drank, instead, and cheered on Pike’s horrible imitations of their friends.

He did not think of silk or blood or water, or any of the things that streamed down flushed tawny skin in a way that tested Percy’s composure.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Hours later, Percy returned to his room to find that he was apparently to never compose himself again. Vax sat hunched on the poorly-made bed, hands clasped as tightly as the last time Percy had seen him and hair hiding his face.

“Vax?” Percy said dumbly, stopping in his tracks. He was a bit (or maybe very) drunk, and he could barely process anything past the image of Vax in his bed. Vax looked him over appraisingly, one brow arched in a manner that felt like some kind of challenge.

“You’re fucking sloshed,” Vax observed mildly.

“You left,” Percy observed back, shutting the door behind him as he made his way inside as steadily as he could manage. He took his jacket off, draping it over a chair and rolling his sleeves up sloppily. At this point, his greatest hope was appearing as functional as possible, and not like his heart was beating a sharp rhythm against his rib cage.

Vax was staring at him, eyes just a touch narrowed. They watched each other wordlessly while Percy took off his holsters and straps, something tense and untouched in the stale air of the room. He sat in a chair by his desk to untie his boots, but a few moments later the burn of fingertips against his back froze him in the spot. He could feel Vax standing over him, hand sliding slowly up to grip his neck, and Percy leaned back enough into the touch that he could see Vax’s face through his half-lidded eyes.

He looked almost in pain, for how utterly vulnerable that Vax’ildan seemed in the moment. Like he was building an exposition, and not a simple expression. The hand on his back lifted in the weighted silence of the moment and Percival wondered if this was it - if this was where the tension snapped and something broke. Something _had_ to break. His chest felt tight and strange, and it only got tighter as Vax slid into Percy’s lap without looking away. Vax’s eyes dipped, surely watching the pre-existing flush move further across Percy’s skin. Fingers sliding up a few more inches to brush at his hair, Vax took in a shaky breath like he was preparing for something. The furious percussion of his heart pounded against Percival’s chest, begging to be noticed or reconciled. Percy’s hand rested cautiously on the man’s hip, and he breathed out a shuddering sigh into the shared air between them.

Vax’ildan went rigid under his touch, and was out of his lap before Percy knew what was going on.

“You’re fucking sloshed,” Vax said again, chuckling bitterly to himself and scrubbing viciously at his face with the heels of his palms. “Gods, I’m a fool.”

And then Vax’ildan was gone, and Percival was very much alone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

For three days, Vax avoided being anywhere closer than in the same group of people as Percy. It wasn’t blatant - Vax wasn’t much of a talker in the first place. He just stayed glued to his sister or Grog’s side and resolutely wouldn’t look anywhere but ahead of him. It was a peculiar imbalance, like trying to grab at something that wasn’t there.

Vax knew of his affections, now. Knew exactly what Percy wanted, and had made it abundantly clear that he was not interested in the slightest.

Percival felt like there was a rock in his throat, every word needing to force its way out of him. He didn’t want to push the boundary for fear of pushing too far, of breaking the tension but shoving Vax away in the process. He wasn’t exactly sure what’d happened a few nights before, but he knew that whatever Vax had come to do he hadn’t done it.

Instead, Vax had slid into his -

Instead, Percy had assumed -

“Percy!”

Percy startled, coughing into his hand and hoping that it covered at least some of his reddened face as a grinning Keyleth approached. Her smile faded into a concerned expression, and she slammed her hand into his back a few times unhelpfully. Percy struggled to not go into another coughing fit at her aggressive affection, and he gave his friend a small smile as she slid her arm around his shoulders.

“Are you alright?” she asked, looking him over like she could somehow deduce whatever was bothering him.

“I’m - perfectly fine, Kiki,” he assured, chuckling. Keyleth was his best friend - they were incredibly similar, really. It was only their personalities that set them apart. She cocked her head, clearly not believing him, and he sighed in resignation. Percy looked around, checking for any eavesdroppers. But the rest of their party was ahead of them, Grog and Scanlan laughing raucously, and he figured it was safe for now.

“You mustn’t repeat this,” Percy started, and Keyleth was squealing even before he’d finished speaking.

“Oh, secrets! I love secrets!” At her shout, Percy looked around and realized that Vax was looking back at them with a troubled expression. Percy jabbed her in the ribs with an elbow, and her mouth snapped shut audibly. “Sorry, sorry - I’ll be quiet now.” He groaned, second guessing his decision to tell her. But who else was he going to tell? Vex’ahlia had probably already wheedled the night out of her brother, but he didn’t want to drag her any deeper into problems that weren’t hers. Scanlan and Grog were useless, and Pike was still in Vasselheim bringing Sarenrae’s light to the holy city.

So he told Keyleth everything he remembered, from every movement of every finger to every twitch of Vax’s lips. Every detail felt monumental, and Keyleth listened intently with her face twisted in consternation. When he was done, she looked close to tears, and he was confused until he realized that he was nearing them himself. That his own emotion was what had driven hers.

He might, Percival admitted, care a little more about Vax’s avoidance than he had previously realized.

“You have to go after him,” Keyleth said after a few moments. As Percy had been talking, her arm had slipped down and their hands were now intertwined. She gave his hand a squeeze, her lips quirking into the crooked smile of her’s that Percy loved.

Percy swallowed, looking at Vax where he walked ahead of them. “I’m not so sure that’s the best idea,” he sighed, jaw gritting. Vax clearly wanted as little to do with him as possible, and Percy was willing to allow him as much space as he needed. He could hardly allow his traitorous heart to ruin the dynamic of their entire group.

“Not a - _Percy_.” He turned to her, and Keyleth put her free hand over his. “You do realize that you’re like, crazy in love with him, right? You know that?”

Percy didn’t answer for a long moment, looking at her and then looking forward at Vax once more. Vax was laughing at something his sister had said, hiding his grin behind a loose fist. _Gorgeous_ , said his uncontrollable mind, as if trying to prove Keyleth right.

“Yes, I know,” Percy assured, chuckling. “The issue isn’t me.”

Keyleth looked at Vax, as well, a furrow in her brow. She hummed thoughtfully before her face split into a grin, and she tugged Percy along as she moved to catch up with the rest of their group.

“Well,” she smiled, “I guess we’ll just have to make Vax see that, too.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Keyleth had pitched countless plans to discover Vax’s true intentions, and all of them were absolutely terrible. But it did make Percy feel better - it was a wonderful distraction, if nothing else, and he adored Keyleth for trying.

He was hardly easy to deal with, especially not when troubled, but she stuck herself to his side nonetheless. She chattered on and on, and they solved no problems but they did lift the stone from his throat and the weight from his heart. Which, really, was all a friend was for.

Percy sat in his workshop, the moon showing that it was some time well past midnight, when the door creaked open. He went taut, hand instinctively going for the gun on his belt when he realized it was just an equally-startled looking Vax’ildan.

“Hello.”

“Hello,” Vax parroted, looking trapped. He hadn’t run, though, which Percy considered a victory.

“Is there - Can I help you with something?” Percy didn’t stammer, but he came close enough that he snapped his mouth shut to prevent it from happening. Or to prevent himself from rambling, which he’d absolutely do if given the chance. Vax didn’t speak, just stared at Percy like he was terrified of him.

It stung a bit, of course, but Percy resolved to not take it too personally.

Vax opened his mouth only to close it, and instead of talking he took a step further into the room. The door swung shut behind him, thudding closed with the reinforced weight. It made them both jump, and there was a beat of silence before they both chuckled.

“This is stupid, right?” Vax cocked his head, watching Percy as if his response was vastly important.

“To be completely honest, I’m not entirely sure what ‘this’ is,” he admitted carefully, watching Vax just as closely.

“You’re being difficult,” Vax accused, narrowing his eyes. Percy ran his hand through his hair as the nervous energy started to take precedence in him, making him restless.

“I am not the one being difficult,” he bit back, frustrated. “Why come here if you’re just going to- to-”

“To what, de Rolo?” Vax sounded just as angry, his nails surely digging marks into his palms for how tightly clenched his hands were.

“To taunt me.” Percy swallowed, closing his eyes for just a moment to collect himself. Collect his thoughts enough to say the right thing. “I do not believe it fair for you to treat my emotions as an offense, Vax’ildan. If you must know that I care for you, then you could at least be a little more reasonable than avoiding me. I have never made it an issue before, and I do not see why it is one now.”

He meant to go on, really. He had plenty to say, the hurt in his chest bubbling into words. But Percy was distracted as he watched Vax’s expression go from irritation to shock, then settled into that familiar pained expression like something visceral in Vax was aching.

“Never made it an…” Vax trailed off, repeating him with breathless awe. “How long?”

Percy realized, very suddenly, that he might have misunderstood something.

“Percival, how long?” Vax was almost begging now, taking tentative steps towards the workbench Percy was seated behind.

“Two years,” Percy admitted after a cloying moment. He felt like it was wrenched out of him, but this was going a way he hadn’t expected and Percy was floundering in the uncertainty. Answering was the only thing he knew how to do, and so it was all he could do. “Maybe longer, I suppose. I only realized two years ago.”

Vax was taking slow, careful steps towards him. When he reached Percy, he reached a hand out and -

Percy flinched hard, expecting a fist more than anything else. He looked up at Vax when it didn’t come, and the man was. He was crying.

Vax’ildan was crying, silently and slightly but crying nonetheless, and the extended hand brushed gently against his cheek in something that felt like reverence.

“I suppose this is news, Percival,” Vax said with a deep breath, hand cupping around Percy’s jaw. “But I am terribly in love with you.”

Percy couldn’t have responded to that if he tried, but he was saved from trying when Vax lowered himself to Percy’s lap and pressed their lips together like it was saving his life.

Perhaps it was.

“I’m quite terribly in love with you, as well,” Percy finally said when they parted. He could barely breathe, and Vax laughed heartily, resting his forehead against Percy's own.

“Terribly indeed.”

**Author's Note:**

> idk how long theyve been in a group so lmk if two years doesnt make any sense
> 
> also come say hi! my tumblr is [rojohbi!](http://rojohbi.tumblr.com/)


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